so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
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You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
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Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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