Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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