i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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