nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
