So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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