just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
