When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
