She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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