i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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