I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
