Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
