I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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