Writing my paper on freud at bar
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Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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