are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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