wat bout pragnant strippers??
Did you just see the Batmobile???
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Randomize
