if i can run in heels then i can drive
Ambien. No doubt about it.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Dating After Heartbreak
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering