Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(641): View more from Iowa

i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(641): i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am http://tfl.nu/xq9v

Replies (30) Good night (5064) Bad night (675)
Favorite
(262): View more from Wisconsin

I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.

(715): View more from Wisconsin

Worst stoner tragedy.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(262): I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo. (715): Worst stoner tragedy. http://tfl.nu/7uyr

Replies (41) Good night (1860) Bad night (6352)
Favorite
(973): View more from New Jersey

remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?

(973): View more from New Jersey

it happened again.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(973): remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels? (973): it happened again. http://tfl.nu/jmjg

Replies (8) Good night (6130) Bad night (879)
Favorite
(609): View more from New Jersey

I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(609): I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something. http://tfl.nu/5sjh

Replies (21) Good night (5017) Bad night (1134)
Favorite
(862): View more from New Jersey

Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(862): Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea. http://tfl.nu/cd70

Replies (2) Good night (2606) Bad night (1194)
Favorite
(240): View more from Maryland

I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(240): I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop. http://tfl.nu/iw16

Replies (20) Good night (3706) Bad night (1463)
Favorite
(814): View more from Pennsylvania

i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(814): i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me http://tfl.nu/y6ou

Replies (16) Good night (3934) Bad night (1127)
Favorite
(949): View more from California

So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(949): So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls. http://tfl.nu/e640

Replies (4) Good night (2193) Bad night (709)
Favorite
(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(814): Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate. http://tfl.nu/j5ej

Replies (10) Good night (1741) Bad night (634)
Favorite
(773): View more from Illinois

by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(773): by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go? http://tfl.nu/xzhw

Replies (3) Good night (1080) Bad night (515)
Favorite
(714): View more from California

After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(714): After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain. http://tfl.nu/appx

Replies (8) Good night (577) Bad night (1195)
Favorite
(770): View more from Georgia

Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(770): Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week. http://tfl.nu/3id8

Replies (1) Good night (820) Bad night (333)
Favorite
(714): View more from California

You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(714): You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie. http://tfl.nu/je5q

Replies (10) Good night (459) Bad night (1273)
Favorite
(612): View more from Minnesota

Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.

(218): View more from Minnesota

And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(612): Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted. (218): And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face. http://tfl.nu/e0j5

Replies (2) Good night (784) Bad night (303)
Favorite
(614): View more from Ohio

I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(614): I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am. http://tfl.nu/znur

Replies (3) Good night (628) Bad night (263)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: