Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial

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(507): View more from Minnesota

Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher

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(520): View more from Arizona

i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.

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(425): View more from Washington

Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(972): View more from Texas

I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"

(1-972): View more from Texas

More like "Chia Pet"

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(845): View more from New York

I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!

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(847): View more from Illinois

as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me

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(716): View more from New York

Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.

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