i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.