Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)

  (650): View more from California

  nah, i'm gonna grab some food

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  (408): hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;) (650): nah, i'm gonna grab some food http://tfl.nu/jz1a
  Replies (122) Good night (4635) Bad night (36184)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.

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  (310): my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was. http://tfl.nu/26j1
  Replies (9) Good night (1378) Bad night (1554)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.

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  (201): you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful. http://tfl.nu/ngce
  Replies (10) Good night (10220) Bad night (693)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long

  (1-604): View more from British Columbia

  wtf you measured my hair?

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  (604): found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long (1-604): wtf you measured my hair? http://tfl.nu/f3a1
  Replies (20) Good night (1401) Bad night (4548)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.

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  (484): We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision. http://tfl.nu/lzhl
  Replies (18) Good night (1254) Bad night (3737)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire

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  (757): No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire http://tfl.nu/j9c5
  Replies (3) Good night (3230) Bad night (998)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.

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  (317): I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it. http://tfl.nu/klgn
  Replies (8) Good night (6239) Bad night (843)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.

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  (701): Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle. http://tfl.nu/xafh
  Replies (9) Good night (1364) Bad night (2004)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  We're knee deep in HJ's right now.

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  (217): We're knee deep in HJ's right now. http://tfl.nu/uucd
  Replies (10) Good night (1295) Bad night (582)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.

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  (920): Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage. http://tfl.nu/b73b
  Replies (5) Good night (2094) Bad night (575)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.

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  (405): Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped. http://tfl.nu/kn7w
  Replies (5) Good night (1373) Bad night (600)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.

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  (810): I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point. http://tfl.nu/wk8l
  Replies (1) Good night (1195) Bad night (307)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious

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  (239): We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious http://tfl.nu/iovv
  Replies (6) Good night (709) Bad night (403)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water

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  (805): I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water http://tfl.nu/4hod
  Replies (3) Good night (1150) Bad night (357)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities

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  (519): I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities http://tfl.nu/fsvr
  Replies (0) Good night (435) Bad night (247)

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