so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
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Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
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Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position