i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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