Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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