I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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