PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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