Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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