Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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