i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
