the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
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or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
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She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
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