he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
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He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
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What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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