worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
