): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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