just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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