I want to have your abortion
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Holy sore nipples Batman
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize