someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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