Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
