if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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