Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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