sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
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I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I didn't notice because vodka
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Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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