Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize