i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
