I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Enjoy the penises
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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