I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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