oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
