I hate all girls vehemently.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I need water and some morals
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
