My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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