I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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