I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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