Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
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It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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