i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
