if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
