so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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