Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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