I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
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