Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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