Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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