3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize