I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
