I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize