It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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