Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
