And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
