the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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