Welp...herpes.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I need a beard to bite.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
