An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
