U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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