I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
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