If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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