I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I looked at my own cervix.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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