Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
