so let's talk penis.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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