It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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