she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I touched a dick in church today
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
